Early Friday joke time

Lady Doctor: Right Mr Smith, you've got to stop masturbating.
Mr Smith: May i ask why ?
Lady Doctor: Because i'm trying to examine you.
 
It's been 6 months since I joined the gym and no progress.
Tomorrow I'm going there in person to see what's really going on.
 
A Husband and Wife went shopping together just before Christmas. The wife quickly noticed that her husband was missing and because they had a lot to do she called him on his phone.
After the husband picked up the phone his wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do!"
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheeks and she got all choked up and said "Yes, I do remember that shop!!!" she replied.
"Well I am in the pub next door to that.
 
As I've got older, I've found that things are beginning to click.

my knees, my neck, my back and many other bits. 😩
 
BFC are playing that badly at the moment that British Rail have apologised for no strike action being taken when they play Barnsley away. ;)
 
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